


The Staff Party

by Hilarita



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-04-24
Updated: 2004-04-24
Packaged: 2018-04-15 11:16:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4604655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hilarita/pseuds/Hilarita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermione returns to teach at Hogwarts</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Staff Party

**Author's Note:**

> First posted on my LiveJournal.

Minerva opened her eyes. This was not a good idea. Firstly, it hurt. Secondly, it meant she could dimly see a large, black strap-on about six inches away from her nose, and what looked indistinctly like a bottle (empty) of Firewhisky on the bedside table. She felt around for her wand.  
‘Lumos’, she croaked. A very faint light came on and she walked carefully over to the bathroom, in case it tried to escape. Having answered the rather persistent call of nature, and had a drink of water from the top, she muttered: ‘Accio glasses.’ She put them on and returned to her bedroom.

The figure lying on the bed was that of Hermione Granger. Minerva smiled. She now knew exactly why Hermione was still ‘Miss’ Granger. Well, Professor Granger, to be precise (and Minerva was nothing if not precise), come to teach Charms to an unsuspecting populace. McGonagall sat down hastily and tried to work out what had happened the previous night. This wasn’t easy, as the annual ‘beginning of year’ Staff party was always rowdy, and Headmistress McGonagall was never one to flount the traditions. At least they were no longer going to be subject to the sight of Dumbledore playing strip chess. She’d never known if the sequinned green thong was his habitual wear, or just for the occasion, and she was glad she’d never found out.

So. They’d had aperitifs in her new office. Nothing out of the way there. They’d got a little merry before moving onto the feast in the Great Hall, and the Headmistress’ speech. As far as she recalled, that had gone fairly well. It was after that the fun started. At least, she presumed so. Only the haziest of memories remained – Lupin dancing the Time-Warp on the table, Hermione pinching her knee. Gods! The last time she’d got that drunk was at a school reunion! Mad-Cat McGonagall and the Hooligans. Happy days! Apart from the hangovers, that is. She shook her head, and regretted it. Hermione was still sleeping the sleep of the living dead. Something had to be done about that. She transfigured some handkerchiefs into glasses, and filled them with water. Then she went over to wake up Hermione.

‘Time to get up, Hermione.’ A groan. She shook her bare shoulder.  
‘Whaaat happened last night?’  
‘A very good question,’ replied Minerva.  
‘Did we really play strip chess?’  
‘We did. I won.’  
‘But you were in your underwear!’ And had shown a surprisingly good body too.  
‘I adopted a bold sacrificial attack. I still won the game.’  
‘Tell me,’ said Hermione, sitting up, ‘did I really see Professor Snape in tight black underpants, singing “Merlin the Happy Pig”?’  
‘I’m afraid so.’ Minerva handed over the glass of water. Hermione downed it.   
‘Tell me, Minerva. Did we have sex last night?’

 

‘Well,’ thought Minerva. ‘That wasn’t too bad. She wasn’t too surprised.’ It crossed her mind that the final escapade of Mad-Cat and the hooligans was probably enshrined in Gryffindor legendaries (for the interested, they streaked round the Gryffindor Common Room). She even began to contemplate what she could do to Hermione that night. It should probably involve chocolate… Even though this was a bad idea. Headmistresses didn’t have liaisons with professors nearly forty years their junior. It was a bit eccentric even in the wizarding world. But there was no harm in thinking about it.

Severus came swooshing in, and left a little phial containing a Hangover potion at each place on the staff table. Minerva knocked it back in one. It tasted vile, otherwise. She felt much much better, and remembered some more of the night before.

‘Oh, oh. I can’t believe you just bit my clit! Oh, oh!’  
‘Well, what do you expect when you squirm like that?’  
‘If you wanted me not to squirm, you shouldn’t drop a huge lump of ice-cream on me like that!’  
‘Why else do you think I teach transfiguration, girl? But even I can’t hang onto ice-cream when drunk!’

A little later:  
‘My god, Minerva, I never knew you squeaked like a hamster!’  
‘Wouldn’t you squ-ee-ee-ak a bit with a dildo up your arse?’  
‘Well, maybe.’

Minerva was wandering through the corridors, lost in thought. 

This lasted about five minutes, until Hermione pounced on her from behind a life-size statue of Albus Dumbledore. Minerva was rather surprised. Hermione kissed her (Minerva groped her bum), then said,  
‘Remember the bit with the mint-flavoured charm and the dildo? Can we try it again tonight?’  
Minerva was rather pleased. Hermione had never lacked initiative. She’d shown that last night. However, business called, and she merely smiled, and walked off to the staff-room.  
This would be a long meeting.

Hermione picked the seat next to McGonagall. Snape raised his eyebrows at Minerva, who returned her best imitation of Snape death-glare 3. This didn’t appear to do much good, not least because she could feel Hermione’s foot playing at her ankle. The staff meeting was quite hard work. So long as she didn’t look at Snape, she was fine. Or Hermione. Her self-control was being sternly exercised. Sternly, now there was a good word. She wondered what Hermione thought about leather. And whips. But mostly whether she could get to play with ice-cream again. Minerva had a weakness for ice-cream.

She rounded off the meeting in a fully professional manner, and left. Hermione pounced again, heedless of the fact that Snape had not yet left the room. Minerva resigned herself to a lifetime of merciless teasing. But she had plans. She transfigured herself into a cat, and ran up to her chambers. This gave her time to prepare.

She shut the curtains, and set candles alight. Then she carefully cleaned the dildo, found the bowl and conjured some more ice-cream (with a cooling charm – Minerva was ever thorough), and a few more assorted items.

Hermione was outside. She let her in. Minerva’s stern look relaxed into relief and anticipation. Hermione’s was full of joy. Minerva bent to kiss the shorter woman, and they sat down on the bed, lips sliding across necks, shoulder blades, robes falling from shoulders.

But just before they were fully naked, Hermione’s tones were heard:

‘Ooh, ice-cream and chocolate sauce!’


End file.
